[My mom's struggle with cancer ended this week, about a month after celebrating her 60th wedding anniversary with my Dad. I can't describe how much I will miss her. These are the words I spoke at her funeral yesterday. Please keep my Dad in prayer.]
"Well, I gotta tell you. Things in heaven have gotten a whole lot more organized this week…One of the angels saw St. Peter himself, helping to dust the pearly gates, and the angel says, “Looks like Dolores must finally be on her way up.”
King Solomon wrote about my mom in Proverbs 31, he said
“A woman of noble character, who can find her?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
She is clothed in strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.”
My mom worked hard and she played hard.
She had movie star good looks, but she never considered herself pretty.
She typed parts manuals for WW II Army Trucks, and she typed term papers for her kids.
She changed diapers, and she changed lives.
She had a tender heart – and she let out robust, heartfelt laughter.
She played Rummy Royal and Dress Up with the Grandkids.
She drove across Europe and she camped her way across the Rocky Mountains.
She was quiet and genteel – but she was no pushover.
I will never forget the time I watched, in shock, as my 5’ 2” mom stood toe to toe with my towering, brick laying, stone-mason of a Grandfather, and she said, “You….are an ornery, stubborn old Dutchman!”
But that was the exception.
99.99% of the time she was the loving friend, the kind neighbor, the playful grandma, and most endearingly, the soul mate of my dad, Jerry.
The two of them have been inseparable since their last names – a “W” and a “Z”, put them in the same classroom in high school. Dad called her Spunky in some of the letters they exchanged while he served in the Navy – and he called her his tiger as she battled her own war with cancer.
And after 60 years of marriage they were still going strong in the house they built together – same phone number, same locks on the door, same maple tree in the front yard.
3 kids, 5 grandkids, hundreds of friends and countless memories of love and happiness.
My dad did a heroic job of keeping up with mom’s cancer treatments and taking care of the household this past year. But in the past few weeks, little by little, we knew that mom was failing, and it appeared as though the 60th wedding anniversary celebration was her final milestone. We would have all loved her to be with us forever, year in and year out. But as my sister said, God is God, and we are not.
A cousin wrote a brief note to my mom before the anniversary party, and I love the way she summed things up.
“Auntie, you have always been an example of class, dignity, kindness, honesty and what a real woman is all about. I know everyone around you feels the same way.”
I’ll close with one last thought.
My mom knew she was going to heaven, because she believed in Jesus as her savior. You can know that too.
So I asked mom one day a couple months ago,
“When you get to heaven, who would you like to see first, your mom, or Jesus?”
Close family and friends knew that my mom lost her own mother when she was only 13, so seeing her again was a common theme over the years.
It didn’t surprise me too much when she said, “You know, I’ve been giving that more thought recently.” “And…?” I asked.
She said, “I don’t know if this sounds funny, but I really think I’d like to see my mom first, and then go see Jesus.”
Fine with me.
My surviving Aunt, big sister by several years to my mom, had yet another conversation with my mom and the two of them forged an agreement. If my mom didn’t meet up with their mom as she planned – she was going to round up a few people in heaven and roll some big thunder!
Tuesday morning at 3 a.m. we were gathered around my mom’s bedside, holding her hands and praying with her. We read some scripture (John 14: 1-6, John 11:23, Psalms 23 and 121) and my sister sang a beautiful lullaby. We told mom we loved her. We told her that she had prepared us for the life that is still before us.
And then finally, my dad said, “It’s ok if you want to go now. You go on now and be with your mom.”
She did, and we didn’t hear any thunder.
Right now, I know those two ladies – and a whole host of other family and friends, are celebrating a very, very joyful reunion of mother and daughter and Savior. That’s the image I’ll keep in mind in the days to come. I know my mom is smiling, and I know Jesus is smiling, too."
