My dad decided it was time to leave the home he'd literally built with his own hands, and move into a more manageable apartment. It was good timing and a wise decision for all of us.
At age 85, he is nicely settled into his place and already making new friends.
His move to the apartment triggered a sometimes overwhelming set of tasks for us 'youngsters' to attend.
None of us had space to absorb 60 years of furniture, decorations, tools, equipment, household items and...memories.
So little by little, item by item, we had to wrestle with the decisions of keep, give away, or discard.
Countless families have had to deal with this, so I won't waste any words feeling sorry for us or our process.
What I did learn very quickly was that items aren't just items. Each of us have attached (locked) certain memories to the acquisition of, or use of certain items. Other items represent an event or time period.
It was very interesting to see how one person's "give away" was another person's "keep" or "discard" and why. Ok, 'interesting' doesn't even begin to describe it. The stress levels we reached over these decisions was excruciating at times. Surprisingly, most of the angst was not over who got what. It was more about "how can we somehow keep" things that had been in the family for so long...no matter their value to the rest of the world.
In the end, we have imperfectly endured the process as I'm sure other families have.
For me, the essence of the family home - other than photos, our most precious resource - is now comfortably resting here on a simple oak table.
One of my mother's crosses and one of her rings.
The cuff links and tie clasp that my dad wore to their wedding.
The hospital wrist band from my birth.
All tucked into my favorite wood music box. A simple, unremarkable item that I always enjoyed seeing in the living room of our humble home.
Faith, family, fidelity and simple pleasures.
My bride and I are looking around our own home with a different perspective now. What will our daughter and son most value some day when it comes time to keep, give away or discard.
I sincerely hope that their choices will somehow reflect elements of those same four themes.
What do you believe?
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