I was as shocked as anybody in our parish to learn that John passed away last month.
I don't know his last name. Early 40-ish, thick beard, soft spoken and always smelling of cigarette smoke.
John played conga drums at our 7:30 am Sunday church service.
If conga's seems a little out of place for the "early" service, you're right.
But our music director rarely has volunteers for that time slot and John was willing, so he became a regular.
As the parish guitar player, I rotate services and only play a handful of the 7:30's each year.
John was always very friendly towards me. Greeted me and offered to engage me in conversation despite the unseemly hour (7:00 am rehearsal...ugh).
But I wasn't very friendly back. I don't know why.
I usually enjoy the camaraderie of another musician. Whether it's the music director on piano, the flute and violin players who sometimes visit, they add so much and its more fun for me.
And I am almost always curious to learn more about my fellow musicians and the singer soloists as well.
What other types of music do you enjoy? How long have you been playing? Have any plans for the coming week?
But I never did ask John those questions, even though he asked me a few. That's why I know so little about him.
Maybe the conga drums were a little jarring for me, despite the gentle and capable way John played them. And I was admittedly put off by the heavy pall of cigarette smoke that encircled him.
Even when John would say to me after the service, "Nice job today, I really like the way you play."
I never accepted the opening to say more.
So I was as shocked as anyone to learn that the poor man had passed away at such a young age.
I'm equally troubled by how my own behavior cannot be reconciled with John in this lifetime.
I can't make an effort to be kinder to him next time. Can't apologize for treating him so indifferently.
There is no next time with John.
I won't make that mistake again...or will I?
I've asked God to help me do better and to please forgive me for not treating others as I would like to be treated. There is always more to learn, and I'm once again humbled by the stark reminder.
James Chapter 2:
"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism.2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers."
What do you believe?
1 comment:
How many times do we get to ask that question? I know I struggle with it every time someone I've crossed paths with enters into eternity. Often I feel the weight of trying to care for everyone. But at the same time I remember the time Jesus' disciples told Him the crowds were looking for Him but His response was something like 'come, let's go from here'. Mark 1:37-38. How could He not care? There's a lesson somewhere in that.
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